Debt Free Diary- Entry 7- Learning to tell myself no

6/29/16

Our class has now been over for almost two weeks. I thought that it would be harder to keep going now that we don’t have to show up every Sunday and be accountable in front of a group of people. So far, it hasn’t been- because we are accountable to each other.

Oh, how things have changed.

Last weekend we went to Burger King with a coupon to treat ourselves. (I still think fast food is disgusting, not cooking is the treat.) The girl asked, “would you like to add bacon and cheese?” Old me pipes up, “Sure!” The next thing you know, our bill has gone up three dollars for a half-cooked slice of bacon and a slightly melted slice of cheese. We pulled through to the window, both lamenting over the loss of three dollars.

That’s when it hit me.

Dave’s right. Cash does matter.

You see, we didn’t stop by the bank to get out the last $10 that we had in our food budget for the month. I said, “we can use the card, we just won’t go over $10. We have our coupon.” HA! They lured me in with the stupid coupon to charge me an arm and a leg for their nasty bacon. With my card in hand, it never crossed my mind to tell her, “No thank you, I changed my mind”. However, had I been sitting there with only $10 to spend and not a cent more, I most definitely would have argued.

Cash really does matter.

I have been trying to get rid of things on Craigslist. Before my mentality has always been, “just get rid of it!”. But now I realize that this money adds up. Instead of practically giving things away, I should be selling them. Each and every dollar is bringing me that much closer to my freedom. This transformation of my heart and mind is absolutely fascinating.

And my husband, that is just a whole other story. He has practically memorized the discs that came in our kit. He listens to the radio show. He talks to anyone and everyone about debt. And today- he told me no. He. Told me. No.

He. Told me. No.

This, my friends, is a first. Recently, I have been slightly obsessed with the idea of essential oils. I want to buy them, sell them, bathe in them, and cure the world with them. I was trying to convince my husband that I needed to buy some to make a flea collar for the dog. After listening to me for over a month he said “stop trying to buy stupid things just because you have an idea. Our house is full of your ideas that you never followed through with (the treadmill we just sold, the pieces of art projects that you never finished, just to name a few…) stop wasting money on your whims.”

I was a little shocked and taken aback. After mulling through this for a few hours though, I realized he was right.

I rationalize my ideas, turn them into needs instead of wants in my head and then don’t follow through.

In the end, I am left with fragments of incomplete ideas. But, had he never called me out on it, I would have never realized it. I don’t even want to think about how many hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars have been wasted on my projects.

Telling myself no is hard.

But it is time to live like no one else so that later we can live, and give, like no one else. It is not forever. It is time to be a responsible adult instead of an average American. Time to tell my inner two- year old no.

The tantrums are not really the end of the world, they are the beginning of growth.

We can do this, even if we have to drag each other kicking and screaming.

Author: Vanessa

Mom. Writer. Lover of all things DIY. My mission is to empower my fellow creatives to show money who’s boss, ditch debt and follow their dreams. Achieving debt freedom isn’t easy but our dreams are worth it!

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